It’s that time of year again and as someone with two AP exams currently under her belt (of course not literally, those tests are secure, man) I’d say I’m an expert. You’ve heard the same boring standardized test taking advice for years: Go to bed early, eat a good breakfast, bring a pencil. Let me tell you one thing. If you need to be reminded to bring a pencil, you might as well just not take the test. Here are the real tricks of the trade from a seasoned veteran.

1. Eat Lucky Charms for breakfast: They’re magically delicious. Need I say more?
2. Don’t sleep: No rest for the wicked.
3. Get a tattoo of a cell phone on your arm: Otherwise how will you part with your iPhone during the exam?
4. Bring snacks to the exam: Preferably tuna. The scent will distract your competitors aka classmates.
5. Listen to Irish music to pump yourself up: See “Hold me closer, Irish step dancer.”
6. Cry: Weep. Convince your classmates that the test is harder than it actually is with the sound of your sobs.
7. Dress for success: Wear a blanket.
8. Dance like no one is watching.
9. Love like you’ve never been hurt before.
10. Don’t smile because it’s over, cry because it happened.