Few days are as infamous as Black Friday to those in retail; the day where thousands of people mentally prepare themselves to murder each other for a flatscreen less than 24 hours after being thankful for the things that they already have. The crowds that accumulate outside stores like Wal-Mart or Target are reminiscent of The Walking Dead and are probably just as frightening to those unlucky enough to be working inside. People trample over one another in pursuit of sales, trying to save even a little bit on Christmas gifts for their friends and family. The comedic card game Cards Against Humanity usually hops on the Black Friday bandwagon with a release of a limited-edition holiday-themed card pack, but not this year. In an effort to “help you experience the ultimate savings on Cards Against Humanity this Black Friday, [they’ve] removed the game from [their] store, making it impossible to purchase.” Rather than sell their normal bread-and-butter card game, they instead chose to populate their store with one item: an actual box of bull****. Yes. A straight up box of literal feces, from an actual bull. In an effort to assist those that would find themselves at a loss for what to do with a box of poop, the site also posted helpful suggestions including but not limited to: “fertilize your garden, adorn a festive tree, or surprise a loved one with the gift of poop.” To those of you wishing to take advantage of the opportunity to purchase a poop box for $6, you’ll be disappointed to hear that it was a one-time offer and will never again appear on the site. Also, you may want to reevaluate your life. Ironically, the poop that was meant to protest the feverish sales of Black Friday ended up selling out within a matter of hours.
Somehow, the blatant labels stating that this was indeed a box full of poop and that anyone planning to buy this box of poop thinking that it would be anything other than a box of poop would be horribly disappointed managed to slip passed a few people, as there have been reports of customers trying desperately to cancel their order because they had it shipped to a friend’s house for a Christmas gift and would really rather not have their friend opening a box of bull**** on Christmas morning with their name written on the tag. Unfortunately once it hits the shipping center the wheels of destiny are in motion, and so a select, fortunate few will receive the gift of an edgy anti-consumerism statement for Christmas. In the form of a box full of poop. God, I love Christmas.