Let me start off by saying that texting has made my life so much easier. It’s a quick way to tell my mom to come pick me up. A great way to send out an announcement to a group of friends. And if I don’t know the math homework? A quick text will do. Easy. Simple. So what’s the problem?
For one, I can’t stand it when I’m trying to talk to someone and he or she just can’t put the phone down. Oh sure, texters might occasionally grunt or laugh in response to my (apparently inane) comments, but they aren’t actually listening. Multitasking is a myth: two things cannot maintain your attention at one time, no matter how hard you try. One thing is going to get preference, and I have a feeling that it is going to be that tiny little screen of wonders. To me, there is nothing more demeaning or infuriating than a person who won’t give me the attention I deserve. Call me narcissistic, but it’s like attempting to converse with a wall! I need some kind of acknowledgement—positive, negative, I don’t care. And please, no delayed responses. That’s the worst.
Me: “….And then he laughed so hard that milk came out of his nose!” (Laughs.)
Awkward silence as person continues to text.
Person finally closes phone.
Person: “Oh, ha, ha, ha, that’s funny!”
Yeah… no. The moment’s over.
Now look, I’m probably one of the most socially awkward people in this entire school, but I’m a strong believer in the power of eye contact. Just looking someone in the eye communicates so much about yourself: that you are eager to hear what your conversationalist has to say; that you are paying attention to what he or she is saying and not daydreaming; and that you are genuinely interested. Just try this experiment out: practice being present. Show the other person that you are interested. And the next time your phone vibrates while you’re in the middle of a conversation, say excuse me, check it quickly (if you must), but then return to the person. See if you can gain anything from the conversation that you would originally have missed or forgotten if otherwise occupied. I think it would be a good exercise for all of us, myself included. (I know that I, without a doubt, have a lot to learn about social etiquette.)
Perhaps I’m just “old-fashioned.” Maybe I can’t deal with the fact that conversations are dying out. Our attentions flit from news headlines to Facebook notifications to emails to tweets to whatever else we can pull up on our screens at a moment’s notice. We no longer have conversations, but partake in quick one-liners. We choose what statuses to comment on. But in real life, we can’t choose. If someone asks you a question, you have to answer. There’s no hiding behind a screen, planning your witty retort.
Perhaps this is a new movement for efficiency. Maybe we’re all part of some massive, ongoing conversation that never ends. This may all be one unifying, democratizing trend that will allow us to reach out to everyone and be ten times as productive as before.
But I can’t help wondering whose feelings may get hurt in the process.